#10) Rippling muscles and the big frame to carry them. Yuck-o-rama. Who wants beefcake? I'm a vegetarian.
#9) Glacier blue eyes that see into a woman's soul. On a dude? Come on, we all know that looks weird. And not hot...at all....>sigh<....
#8) Rumbling/vibrating bass voice in a Swedish accent. Bleeack. Mrrrfff. Feeling nauseous just thinking about it.
#7) Thick, blond -- yet manly-coiffed -- hair. No way. Give me a bald dude any day. And make him short while you're at it.
#6) Ability to quote romantic fine literature. Um....barf. What woman wants that? Oh, wait, that's pretty awesome....
#5) Intense desire to protect the woman he loves. Nuh uh. I like my guys cowering in fear and leaving me to fend for myself.
#4) Hilarious sense of humor. Forget it. Only grumps will do for me.
#3) Willingness to sacrifice himself completely for the woman he loves. Not my style. Just call me "speed bump." I'll take the brunt of the attack, no problem. He can just stay over there and look pretty.
#2) Heat-breaking sensitivity combined with tremendous desire to pleasure a woman, plus demonstrated prowess in bed. Triple yuck. What woman wants THAT? Uh, hello? Blind groping and unfulfilled dissatisfaction for 3 minutes will be just fine, thanks for asking.
#1) Need to overcome evil and help the underdog. Dis. Gusting. Like this guy is freakin' Mother Teresa or something? Except with big, bulging biceps and a voice that makes your toes tingle and....