Excuses for not getting a mammogram10/14/2016 Ok, people. This month is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Otherwise known and "Save the Ta Ta's" month.
It's not simply about wearing pink, although that's cool and everything, no question. Pink rocks. A few quick facts: Breast cancer is the #1 cancer in women. It KILLS over 40,000 women per year. 1 in 8 women will be affected by breast cancer. And yes, fellas. Guys can get breast cancer, too. What about a new study that questions the value of mammography? Look, here's what we know, and here's what the preponderance of research tells us: Mammograms save lives. Period. There's new data suggesting that we might be picking breast cancer up super early in the stage just prior to invasive breast cancer, and maybe this is "over-estimating" the cancer? Who cares. If it's there, why not fix it early? Who wants to take the chance and wait? Seriously. Things that make no sense about a mall10/13/2016 Ok. We’re talking about fun stuff today. Like shopping.
Why? Because I’m in Seattle at the ECWC conference, and the hotel is right across from a big, beautiful mall. So what, you say? Why the big deal about a mall, you might ask. Well, going to the Big City is a treat for those of us who live hours away from a Big Mall. And to find out there is a Big Department Store in the mall here? That’s me, totally verkelmpt over here. >fans self wildly< But…there are things that make no sense in a mall. #1) Why is there an extra large size in the petite section? Isn’t that an oxymoron? #2) Why do they write on the bra tag “comfort underwire”? That’s also an oxymoron. Written by morons. Who don’t wear bras. Who are these people and where can I talk with them. Alone. In a small room. #3) Why is there a chocolate store next to a sporting goods store? #4) Why don’t they make bras that really fit how breasts go…like sideways. The tag needs an extra designation. Like “34D, laterally” or 38B, downward” so you know you’re getting the most accurate fit before going into the dressing room and acting like a monkey wrestler, trying to get those darn things on. A Circle of Life day10/12/2016 (Trigger warning: miscarriage/stillbirth)
So yesterday was day number…whatever…of this last call block. I’m off call today, going to a writing conference (ECWC). But before I could leave for ECWC, there was work to be done, and yesterday pushed the emotional and physical limits of my patients and me. Doesn’t help that I have a whopper of a cold. Yeah, no one wants to acknowledge it, but doctors get sick. Especially when I see every coughing, booger-oozing toddler in a twenty-mile radius for the past two weeks. And those same sick toddlers like to sneeze directly on me, or grab at my face with those grabby, snotty, glistening, crusty little hands. So that’s the background. Not at 100% to begin with on this last day of the call week. Yesterday. Phone rings at 6:30am. It’s the ER. 20 week patient has delivered a fetus literally 2 minutes ago in the ER, and the patient is bleeding badly. My head spins. Is it my patient? If so, which one? ER doc doesn’t give a name. Just asks me to get there quickly. I go from REM sleep to fully awake in 5 seconds and provide a few orders before pulling on clothes and hurrying to the hospital. En route, I’m thinking through hemorrhage protocols and meds, and also planning for the non-clinical things that need to be done to help the patient through such a devastating event. Announcing a new series coming in 11/16 from Crimson Romance! (If you got my newsletter, you'd know all about this series already...) :)
Hell's Valley is a planned four book Western Paranormal Romance series. That's right, folks, it's like Bonanza meets X-Men ... or Big Valley meets Alphas. If you like your ranchers hot, your nights chilly, the passion steamy, and Hell-driven evil forces closing in on all sides, then you're going to love Hell's Legacy! Meet the Taggart family of western Wyoming. Four siblings, each possessing a strange, secret power. Each sibling fights their personal demons and deals with their disturbing neighbors, the Brand family. Each Taggart must risk revealing their darkest secrets to save the family ranch, fight the Hell-fueled Brand family, and protect the ones they love. Lingerie-blind hubby9/5/2016 What dudes see. (and what they don't see)
Here's the scene: I'm working late, hubs is at home waiting for a Handy Guy to come over and give us a quote for repairs. My text: Please make sure personal stuff and mess is picked up before Handy Guy comes by His text: Roger. I come home after Handy Guy has left. In my bathroom is the untouched mess of hair product, hairdo electronic implements, and assorted anti-old age goops. Oh, and my Pill package is wrapped up inside a crumpled towel. Ah yes, he has removed the offending Personal Item from view but left the messy stuff out. Sigh. Good job. Then, as I walk back through the bedroom, I see it: 2 bras and several undies. Just sitting on the dresser in plain sight. Super obvious. Yup. When asked to describe the logic behind the choices made, hubs said, "I didn't see the clothes." Right there. Plain sight. But thank God the prescription was hidden... …mostly because hubs and I would rock at these events. (We had free time. We made a list.)
#1) Checkers. Before you laugh, recall that ESPN considers poker to be a SPORT. (Seriously?) #2) Synchronized cannonballs. What’s not to like? This event would be even more awesome off the high platform, but I suppose then they’d increase the chances of broken bones. (If femur pokes out after the dive? Degree of difficulty: HIGH) #3) Eating chocolate. Dude. Just give me the gold medal already. #4) Speed reading. Yup. #5) Side eye and eyeball rolling. Points for distance and for snarky impact. #6) Riding that inflatable banana thing that you see at the beach or on the lake. #7) Maintaining a perfect 11:30 minute mile pace for 30 whole minutes. Play me the freakin’ anthem and pass the snacks. #8) No sleep as an endurance event. #9) Avoidance of housework. Complete with tiptoeing around hairballs on the carpet. #10) Competitive rock, scissors, paper Hubby and I were playing the hypothetical/impossible game of ‘what if’ a few nights ago.
To understand how ridiculous the game is, let’s call the proverbial spade a spade: Hubs and I are a short and stumpy match made in heaven. While we like to imagine that once upon a time we were ‘elite athletes’, the reality is much different. We’re okay with that fact. But for funsies, let’s go through the list and see what sports might net these two hobbits a gold medal! #1) Archery: Not really. I can’t hit a fly with an oversized flyswatter, and hubs would kill himself with the compound bow. #2) Rowing: While it’s a point of dubious pride that I have pretty amazing, flabby man-arms, it’s a foregone conclusion that a few rows with the oars and I’d be done. Snack, please. Let’s explore what ended up as some truly awful decision-making.
It was a good day. I’d slept more than 8 hours. I had eaten at least one serving of vegetables and only went for the office M&M jar twice that day. So to cap off the new health kick, and spawn increased amounts of bad choices, I read a magazine article. Day Job vs. Night Job6/24/2016 It’s getting super close to vacation. How do I know? Because I’m this close to losing my mind due to crazy Day Job. That’s typically the indicator light, warning me that it’s time to get away for a while. Sure enough, Day Job stupidity is about to make me lose my mind. Image by Kenji Yamamoto on flickr.
The grass is always greener elsewhere, you say? Of course it is. But that’s not the point of today’s blog. The purpose of today’s blog is as an indulgent compare and contrast time for Day Job (medicine) vs. Night Job (writing). Let us commence the therapeutic hyperbole, for I have 20 more patients to see on Monday and then I am On Vacation. (Why Monday and not Friday before? Well. Yeah. I never claimed to be a genius.) Day Job = Miracle of life (baby) Night Job = Miracle of life (book baby) Day Job = People with very narrow job descriptions and smidgen of power who make doing our job difficult or impossible. Many decisions take place in dark, smoke-filled rooms, behind the scenes. Night Job = Ok, yeah. This happens everywhere. #1) Think hard about laundry. It might miraculously get done on its own. (image via Flickr and Wesley Underwood)
#2) Try to stay focused at work. This means no taunting, gloating, or loudly calling out how many days are left until vacation starts. #3) Probably worth figuring out if I have a passport. Maybe also see if it’s expired or not. #4) Plot numerous ways to sleep on the plane. Recognize that none will work and I’ll arrive jet-lagged no matter what I do. |
Jillian DavidAuthor, daydreamer, and practitioner of trying very hard to duct tape folks together and help when I can. Archives
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