ChapStick is magic

​With dry, winter weather comes dry, winter lips. Which makes me think of one of my favorite products: ChapStick.
 
Whoever came up with this stuff is a verifiable genius. Here’s why I love it. It’s possible that I have a medically definable diagnosis relative to this petroleum-based product.
 
#1) Fits in every single pocket of every single pair of pants I own.
 
#2) Stashes easily in purses and desks at work.
 
#3) Comes in different colors that all end up clear on your lips.
 
#4) Saves having to apply lipstick. Lipstick? Yuck.
 
#5) If I have ChapStick in my pocket, my stress level magically drops 10 points.
 
#6) Zipper stuck? Rub some ChapStick into it and the zipper will work again.
 
#7) Survivalists out there? Yeah, you can smear this stuff on any fabric and use it as fire started. (After swiping it one last time over your lips, of course.)
 
#8) Scuffed shoes? You can fix it with ChapStick. Yeah. I said it. Dab or rub the product on the shoes, then buff with a soft cloth. It’s not perfect, but it’ll do in a pinch. Note to self: do not use the ChapStick on your ips after using on the shoes, because....yuck.
 
#9) No sunscreen? No problem. Smear the product on your face. Gets you somewhere from 4-15 SPF, depending on the flavor.
 
#10) Stops bleeding. What? You bet. Of course, it won’t make a lick of difference if you’ve severed your femoral artery. No amount of ChapStick will solve that little conundrum. But if you have, say, a paper cut? Smear a little bit of amazing-ness on it and voila? No more bleeding and sealed from infection.