As I drifted into a blissful slumber with my pudgy, special needs kitty purring on my chest, a new blog idea came to me.
I love paranormal and all its opportunities. So what creatures could have paranormal powers?
Any of them.
With that poorly-thought-out theory, I give you a new list:
Why My Cats Are Paranormal Beings
10) Healing: Faster than medication, cheaper than counseling -- petting a cat will immediately lower blood pressure.
9) Nocturnal: Everything paranormal seems to function best in the dark.
8) X-ray vision: Can see the sealed package of salmon inside of the bag of groceries I'm trying to sneak into the house.
7) Elastic powers: Can compress bodies to fit into spaces 4 inches wide. How? Especially with the one cat who is "pretty plus"? How is this even possible?
I've been thinking about the whole "write what you know" concept. Sure, that's great. But what if the stuff you "know" really shouldn't ever be made into a novel? Like, ever?
In my first novel, my heroine is an ER doctor. Cool. I've done that job, so that's writing about something I know. (And NO Allison is not me, because I'm not that skinny, tormented, awesome, and I don't want kids. So there.)
There are a lot of visceral injuries throughout all of my novels because apparently I'm not "well-adjusted" or have "suppressed feelings" or something all psychological like that. (You work in rural ER's, you'll see about a thousand bizarre ways the human body can be broken, mangled, and destroyed. After duct taping that mess back together, crying, praying or hosing yourself off, it occurs -- that's good fodder for writing!)
My upcoming 3rd book features a kick-ass nurse as a heroine, so again, there's that medical aspect of verisimilitude in the novels. Ok, fine, none of the nurses I know are actually 150 years old, but I enjoy researching the history of medicine, so there's that.
The good news? I love lists!
Ten reasons why Dr. Jill thinks you should get your colonoscopy.
#1) If you have any GI symptoms, please don't chalk it up to "nothing". Let your doctor know about it. This 42 y/o guy today? TWO+ YEARS OF RECTAL BLEEDING? Damn it, you want to know what I saw when I got 5 cm into his rectum? Let's just say the mass was bleeding and fungating. When I mutter "crap" during a case, it has nothing to do with poopy. If he had come in shortly after the bleeding started, this would have been a simple polypectomy. Now it's chemotherapy + a colon resection + possible metastases + …..? What a raw deal.
#2) It'll make your parents/family/boyfriend/girlfriend happier knowing that you're healthy. They don't want to worry about you. Why put them through the worry?
#3) All the cool kids are doing it.
#4) Propofol gives you the best nap of your life. Ever. And sometimes Propofol produces sexual fantasy dreams. For real. Patients have told me STORIES. Note to writers: a colonoscopy could lead to inspiration and narrative breakthrough! (Better than binge-watching Lost….)
Author, daydreamer, and practitioner of trying very hard to duct tape folks together and help when I can.
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