…mostly because hubs and I would rock at these events. (We had free time. We made a list.)
#1) Checkers. Before you laugh, recall that ESPN considers poker to be a SPORT. (Seriously?)
#2) Synchronized cannonballs. What’s not to like? This event would be even more awesome off the high platform, but I suppose then they’d increase the chances of broken bones. (If femur pokes out after the dive? Degree of difficulty: HIGH)
#3) Eating chocolate. Dude. Just give me the gold medal already.
#4) Speed reading. Yup.
#5) Side eye and eyeball rolling. Points for distance and for snarky impact.
#6) Riding that inflatable banana thing that you see at the beach or on the lake.
#7) Maintaining a perfect 11:30 minute mile pace for 30 whole minutes. Play me the freakin’ anthem and pass the snacks.
#8) No sleep as an endurance event.
#9) Avoidance of housework. Complete with tiptoeing around hairballs on the carpet.
#10) Competitive rock, scissors, paper
Hubby and I were playing the hypothetical/impossible game of ‘what if’ a few nights ago.
To understand how ridiculous the game is, let’s call the proverbial spade a spade: Hubs and I are a short and stumpy match made in heaven. While we like to imagine that once upon a time we were ‘elite athletes’, the reality is much different. We’re okay with that fact.
But for funsies, let’s go through the list and see what sports might net these two hobbits a gold medal!
#1) Archery: Not really. I can’t hit a fly with an oversized flyswatter, and hubs would kill himself with the compound bow.
#2) Rowing: While it’s a point of dubious pride that I have pretty amazing, flabby man-arms, it’s a foregone conclusion that a few rows with the oars and I’d be done. Snack, please.
Author, daydreamer, and practitioner of trying very hard to duct tape folks together and help when I can.
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