Sports that need to be added to the Olympics...

 …mostly because hubs and I would rock at these events. (We had free time. We made a list.)
 
#1) Checkers. Before you laugh, recall that ESPN considers poker to be a SPORT. (Seriously?)
 
#2) Synchronized cannonballs. What’s not to like? This event would be even more awesome off the high platform, but I suppose then they’d increase the chances of broken bones. (If femur pokes out after the dive? Degree of difficulty: HIGH)
 
#3) Eating chocolate. Dude. Just give me the gold medal already.
 
#4) Speed reading. Yup.
 
#5) Side eye and eyeball rolling. Points for distance and for snarky impact.
 
#6) Riding that inflatable banana thing that you see at the beach or on the lake.
 
#7) Maintaining a perfect 11:30 minute mile pace for 30 whole minutes. Play me the freakin’ anthem and pass the snacks.
 
#8) No sleep as an endurance event.
 
#9) Avoidance of housework. Complete with tiptoeing around hairballs on the carpet.
 
#10) Competitive rock, scissors, paper