1) Cups of ice with a splash of diet coke. (Come ON, just give me the rest of the can. I swear I can handle it.)
2) That toddler behind me kicking the back of my seat for 2 hours. Fabulous. Parents, ever heard of discipline, or are you just happy that ADHD/Junior is securely fastened in place by a seatbelt?
3) Inconsistent signage. (Thanks for directing me to pass through the exit/baggage claim, instead of veer off to the next terminal for my next flight. That was a fun re-TSA hour of my life I didn't have to spare.)
4) The flight attendant (can't call them stewardesses) with the really loud voice who is talking nonstop about safety (ok, important), miles earned (if I were a loyalty member, I would earn a free flight in, like 20 years), and destination information. It wouldn't be so bad, if she didn't pause to come up for air once. Like she's got a third lung.
5) The pilot who I can never hear, who could be telling me about the distance to destination and the weather conditions, or could be telling me about how the right engine just blew a johnson rod and we are about to spiral into the face of the Earth.
6) "Thank you, come again. Have a good day, now. Buh bye." I don't think they mean it. Especially after dealing with some of the gems on this flight. If I were the flight attendant, the only enthusiasm I could muster would be to get these pudknockers off my plane ASAP.
7) The toxic brew of recirculated air + sneezing passengers. Thank you for giving me and the other 100 folks any of the other 600 viruses circulating. And that cough/spew/sneeze combo? Pure magic. I appreciate you both liquefying then aerosolizing your sputum. It makes it so much easier for my nasal turbinates to absorb. I should be in the ICU after the standard 7-10 day incubation period. I'll start making plans now.
8) >3 carry on bags. Seriously? Three bags that are HOW BIG? How the hell did you sneak that mass of expanded suitcases and ripped paper bags past security with a straight face? And you're panicked that you can't fit those items in the overhead compartment? Huh.
9) Aromatic food brought on board. Panda Express, anyone? Next to me in the regional jet? I'm pretty sure some of your sweet and sour sauce leaked into my single small backpack carry on. Appreciate that, pal.
10) Musak of music that is already very close to being Musak already. It's like an audible lobotomy.
Author, daydreamer, and practitioner of trying very hard to duct tape folks together and help when I can.
November 2022 September 2022 August 2022 June 2022 May 2022 February 2022 January 2021 November 2020 August 2020 July 2020 May 2020 January 2020 November 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 March 2019 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014
All Adventures With Hubby Airports Author Interviews Cats Fastdrafting Funny Medicine Hell's Valley Series Hell To Pay Series Medicine Potpourri Star Trek Top 10 Lists Writing Writing Vs Medicine