As I drifted into a blissful slumber with my pudgy, special needs kitty purring on my chest, a new blog idea came to me.
I love paranormal and all its opportunities. So what creatures could have paranormal powers?
Any of them.
With that poorly-thought-out theory, I give you a new list:
Why My Cats Are Paranormal Beings
10) Healing: Faster than medication, cheaper than counseling -- petting a cat will immediately lower blood pressure.
9) Nocturnal: Everything paranormal seems to function best in the dark.
8) X-ray vision: Can see the sealed package of salmon inside of the bag of groceries I'm trying to sneak into the house.
7) Elastic powers: Can compress bodies to fit into spaces 4 inches wide. How? Especially with the one cat who is "pretty plus"? How is this even possible?
6) Mind control: Will stare at me until I pet them or feed them. I will do whichever activity they want.
5) Soporific: Will pancake into an amoeba of goo on my chest and that oozilation will put me to sleep instantly.
4) Super sonic hearing: Can detect a cottage cheese container opening from the far end of the house.
3) Telekinesis: Inserts themselves beneath my feet.
2) Septic abilities: Observes when any member of the household uses the lavatory. Uncertain as to whether inspection encompasses quality, consistency, disposal, hygiene or all the above.
1) Hydrophobic: Will levitate in an effort to avoid bathing. Mostly likely due to superior powers to change ion polarity between air and water.
I love paranormal and all its opportunities. So what creatures could have paranormal powers?
Any of them.
With that poorly-thought-out theory, I give you a new list:
Why My Cats Are Paranormal Beings
10) Healing: Faster than medication, cheaper than counseling -- petting a cat will immediately lower blood pressure.
9) Nocturnal: Everything paranormal seems to function best in the dark.
8) X-ray vision: Can see the sealed package of salmon inside of the bag of groceries I'm trying to sneak into the house.
7) Elastic powers: Can compress bodies to fit into spaces 4 inches wide. How? Especially with the one cat who is "pretty plus"? How is this even possible?
6) Mind control: Will stare at me until I pet them or feed them. I will do whichever activity they want.
5) Soporific: Will pancake into an amoeba of goo on my chest and that oozilation will put me to sleep instantly.
4) Super sonic hearing: Can detect a cottage cheese container opening from the far end of the house.
3) Telekinesis: Inserts themselves beneath my feet.
2) Septic abilities: Observes when any member of the household uses the lavatory. Uncertain as to whether inspection encompasses quality, consistency, disposal, hygiene or all the above.
1) Hydrophobic: Will levitate in an effort to avoid bathing. Mostly likely due to superior powers to change ion polarity between air and water.
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