As I drifted into a blissful slumber with my pudgy, special needs kitty purring on my chest, a new blog idea came to me.
I love paranormal and all its opportunities. So what creatures could have paranormal powers?
Any of them.
With that poorly-thought-out theory, I give you a new list:
Why My Cats Are Paranormal Beings
10) Healing: Faster than medication, cheaper than counseling -- petting a cat will immediately lower blood pressure.
9) Nocturnal: Everything paranormal seems to function best in the dark.
8) X-ray vision: Can see the sealed package of salmon inside of the bag of groceries I'm trying to sneak into the house.
7) Elastic powers: Can compress bodies to fit into spaces 4 inches wide. How? Especially with the one cat who is "pretty plus"? How is this even possible?
6) Mind control: Will stare at me until I pet them or feed them. I will do whichever activity they want.
5) Soporific: Will pancake into an amoeba of goo on my chest and that oozilation will put me to sleep instantly.
4) Super sonic hearing: Can detect a cottage cheese container opening from the far end of the house.
3) Telekinesis: Inserts themselves beneath my feet.
2) Septic abilities: Observes when any member of the household uses the lavatory. Uncertain as to whether inspection encompasses quality, consistency, disposal, hygiene or all the above.
1) Hydrophobic: Will levitate in an effort to avoid bathing. Mostly likely due to superior powers to change ion polarity between air and water.
Author, daydreamer, and practitioner of trying very hard to duct tape folks together and help when I can.
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