Super Bowl vs Romance Novels

​Yup, procrastinating editing book #2 Relentless Flame again. So here's the result of this "idle mind"…

Super Bowl = Romance Novels
1) Tight buns (and we're not talking hairdos)
2) Glistening, rippling muscles
3) Leggy women watching with hitches of breaths, bosoms heaving and hearts thudding.
4) Secret codes and safe words (you'll never think about "omaha" the same way again….)
5) Gasping for breath, frequently

Super Bowl ≠ Romance Novels
1) No hero smells like a funky-sweat locker room in a romance novel. Ever. Guarantee there's no "sexy musk" down on that field.
2) In romance novels sometimes the women play football. Really well. And always get the guy.
3) Does not require tackling to defend someone's honor.
4) Secret codes for plays. Look, all you need is an ex-Navy Seal hero to get everyone to safety. Duh.
5) Creepy big brother type with a headset dictating who does what. (Ok, maybe in some BDSM's that's legit. My bad.)

Romance novels are better than Super Bowl, here're 5 good reasons why:
1) You're not obligated to blow your diet and make your gallbladder explode every time you read a romance novel.
2) Fantasy trumps reality every time. When the helmets come off on the sidelines it's all sweaty, matted hair, snot rockets, scratching the nether regions. I'm going to say "meh" on the reality dudes.
3) Romance novels do not require commercials to hold consumers' interest. (Take that, Doritoes! Aw….heck, marketing got to me again.)
4) You can take a potty break any time with a romance novel and you won't miss anything. (Actually, you can easily transport aforementioned romance novel to the lavatory if so inclined. No one will judge.)
5) Super Bowl ticket? $500 and WAAAY up from there. Romance novel? Somewhere between FREE and $14.99.

Have more to add? Agree/disagree? Bring it on -- it's game time!