Top ten excuses why my patients (me too) can't lose weight

Let's be clear here: I'm not the poster child for skinny. However, I at least walk the walk. If I tell my patients to do something, you can bet I'm trying my darndest to do the same thing. For example, it's not BS when I tell my patients to get an hour of exercise 5 days/week. It hurts, but by golly I'm on the treadmill after office hours walking my miles to the tune of "Bad Things" (the opening song to True Blood). To be brutally honest, I walk faster when Joe Manganiello's chest is on the screen. Carrot. Stick. I'm about as willful as Pavlov's dog.

1) (patient) I don't have time. 
2) (me) I walk even if I have an 80 hour week. There's always time. Exercising cuts down on louging-in-jammies time, but there's always time.

3) (patient who is morbidly obese sipping on a mocha-choco-latte) I eat like a bird yet I gain weight. 
4) (me) If by bird you mean pterodactyl, then ok. By the way, you're mainlining cream and sugar.

5) (patient) Just give me "the fat pill." If I had that pill, I'd lose weight.
6) (me) Folks can out-eat any pill I give them. Last week, I had a fellow explain to me that the cholesterol medicine I gave him "made it ok" to eat at McDonalds. (doctor explanation fail, logic fail, patient reality check fail)

7) (patient) It's my metabolism that's the problem.
8) (me) If you do no exercise and eat no fruits and veggies, you're correct. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

9) (patient) What about the new supplement/magic beans/super omega something that Dr. Oz is hocking this week?
10) (me) Sure those work great, if that's the only thing you eat all day. And congratulations. By purchasing the snake oil of the month, you've also paid for his kids and grandkids to go to college. That's money that could go to your Rec Center membership.