Why my cats are the best

No surprise, but hubs and I loved every pound kitty we've owned. They’re totally a mess, semi-defective, and that's what gives them...character.
 
In case you think dogs are better than cats, let me describe my two current “preciouses” and change your mind.
 
#1) They are automatic foot warmers. Even in summer. How fabulous...
 
#2) We do not have to let them out to use the bathroom in inclement weather. They’ve got their own box. Indoors. We do not have to walk them. They wouldn't go, if we tried.
 
#3) They stare at us adoringly for hours. Or maybe they’re plotting some sort of revenge.
 
#4) Excellent actors. The younger, ridiculously hairy cat had us totally fooled by the look-at-how-sweet-I-am act at the pound. Now that she has a roof over her head and blankets to shed upon? She’s the devil.

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#5) No need for alarm clocks. When 5:30 am rolls around, if hubs or I aren’t up, the cats think their world has stopped spinning and we are 1 human getting out of bed away from complete annihilation. Their mission: get us out of bed and feeding them kibbles to prevent the world from being destroyed.
 
#6) The older cat is literally dumber than two bricks put together. (He’s also cross-eyed, the vet couldn’t find his testicles, and he had some sort of congenital eyelid problem. We’re pretty sure he’d ride the short bus to school, if he were human.) He has but one brain cell, and it is set on “snuggle”.

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#7) They’re tough. These animals are so ornery, they will live forever.
 
#8) They have opinions but not opposable thumbs. While they might be thinking “flabby Mommy” when I step out of the shower, they cannot post or Tweet these thoughts.
 
#9) Bedtime and waking up time are the best times of their days. Other than sleeping time, grooming time, and snack time, that is.
 
#10) They’re fabulous hunters…in their own minds. I’m not sure what the dumb cat will do with the deer he’s posturing after through the window, but he believes he can totally take her.