Why Dr. Jill thinks you should get your colonoscopy!

Ok, this will be a bit more serious than most of my posts. But I did 4 scopes today, all of which had polyps/masses, and when I did the last one on a 42 y/o dude and it looks like he's got cancer? Well, then it's time to use this blog to say something more meaningful than the usual snark.

The good news? I love lists!

Ten reasons why Dr. Jill thinks you should get your colonoscopy.

#1) If you have any GI symptoms, please don't chalk it up to "nothing". Let your doctor know about it. This 42 y/o guy today? TWO+ YEARS OF RECTAL BLEEDING? Damn it, you want to know what I saw when I got 5 cm into his rectum? Let's just say the mass was bleeding and fungating. When I mutter "crap" during a case, it has nothing to do with poopy. If he had come in shortly after the bleeding started, this would have been a simple polypectomy. Now it's chemotherapy + a colon resection + possible metastases + …..? What a raw deal.

#2) It'll make your parents/family/boyfriend/girlfriend happier knowing that you're healthy. They don't want to worry about you. Why put them through the worry?

#3) All the cool kids are doing it.

#4) Propofol gives you the best nap of your life. Ever. And sometimes Propofol produces sexual fantasy dreams. For real. Patients have told me STORIES. Note to writers: a colonoscopy could lead to inspiration and narrative breakthrough! (Better than binge-watching Lost….)

#5) It's way cheaper to do a screening colonoscopy than wait for symptoms and pay part of the fee for the chemo, central line port, colon resection, colostomy, reversal, and boatloads of doctor's visits.

#6) Haven't you always wanted to make medical professionals kiss your ass? This is about as close as anyone's gonna get. Take advantage of the opportunity!

#7) Time off work. Yippee! Vacation! I scope folks on Fridays -- wahoo -- 3 day weekends for my patients!

#8) Fastest growing group of patients with colon cancer? AGE 20-34 HOLY SMOKES. Read more about it in this article.

#9) You know there's a hot doctor/orderly/nurse/OR tech. Never know where that can lead. Makes a much cooler "meet" story than Match.com.

#10) You've been complaining about losing those 5 pounds. Well, here's your chance. 


BONUS: People pay good money for bogus high colonics. Getting a real colonoscopy is an opportunity to experience a colon cleanse minus the patchouli oil smell and zen spa sounds, plus it comes with a good chance that it will actually improve your health!