My cat judges me11/10/2015 My cat sits and stares at me for hours.
No, it's not an expression of adoration. It's judgement. But what is she really thinking...? 10) Oooh, dust motes! 9) How many nails can I pull off and deposit on the freshly-vacuumed carpet? 8) Yippee, clean clothes! Time to sit on them and shed. 7) Yippee, clean clothes! Time to ralph up a hairball on them. 6) Yippee, clean clothes! Time to chew a clean bra strap. 5) Mumsy's gotten kind of lumpy. 4) If I lick my chops, the scent of fish-n-glop will go everywhere! 3) I hope Mumsy doesn't want her pillow back anytime soon. 2) It's amazing how a kitty like me can be so pretty. (BTW, she's a hairy nightmare.) 1) Why is Mumsy always writing? She knows I can't read. Winner, winner!10/17/2015 Just got back from the ECWC Reader's Event: Passport to Romance here in Seattle. What a fun evening of meeting readers, giving away swag, and soaking in the high energy from all those fabulous writers.
Originally, I promised that I would give away my Hell to Pay trilogy to one lucky reader who signed up for my newsletter. However, because of the fabulous people I met, I'm going to give away THREE trilogies and TEN copies of book #1, Immortal Flame. Just because. Here's the list of lucky readers: All three books (digital) of the Hell to Pay series 1) Kimmerow 2) Deborah P. 3) Lisa C. What's the point of writing?10/16/2015 Oooh, that's an ominous title!
But really, the question should be twofold: What's the point of writing? And what's the point of writing romance? Because those are different questions, aren't they? Maybe we can answer both. Another list, if you will. Because lordie knows I love lists. #10) We write to keep in contact with what it is to be human. Nuances of behavior, quirks, motives for actions -- writing is studying the details and then depicting humanity, sometimes in its rawest form. #9) Because a story isn't your story until you've told it. That's right. Everyone has a story in them. But not everyone can get that story on paper. That takes special skills. However, if you can write it and shape it, then that's real power. Wow. #8) Writing is better than photoshop. You can make readers see or feel anything, with a turn of a phrase or a tweak of a sentence. You can make different readers see or feel different things with that same phrase or sentence. BookBub deal recap10/11/2015 Here’s what happened. In true Mr. Magoo fashion, and by some miracle of God, somehow I convinced the fine folks at Crimson Romance to help secure a BookBub deal for 2 of the 3 books in my Hell to Pay series. How? Because I’m a numb-nut and have no idea what questions I can and cannot ask.
So I asked. Because I didn't know any better. (I >did< ask nicely, which could have helped.) Whaddaya know? They did it! Not only did they secure a BookBub deal, but here’s how it went down. On the date of Book #3’s release (regular price), Book #1 was FREE for 5 days and Book #2 was 99 cents for 5 days. What did I do to help out? I had secured postings on about 15-20 blogs/book review sites, as well as had the support of some fellow authors for this week. Crimson also supported the deal on their social media platforms, which reached an even wider audience. In the article, I am referring to my Hell to Pay series. Book #1: Immortal Flame Book #2: Relentless Flame Book #3: Flame Unleashed Questionable Romance Novel Titles10/3/2015 Thanks to @gwenhayes @holleytrent and @chronic_mom for inspiring this list! 10) Christmas title, gay romance: “We Three Kinds of Orient Are” (Yup, someone's been sniffing the myrrh.) 9) Option #2 for Christmas fella love story: “Deck the Balls” (I’d like to know what trimming the tree entails.) 8) Harlequin Presents type: “The Loan-Strapped Assistant Manager's Secret Babymama" (Same scenario, but just way less glamorous when it’s not a Tycoon. Yeah, see? Caught you passing judgement.) 7) Harlequin Presents option #2: "Broke Stepbrother's Questionable Relationship Choice" (Holley Trent made me put something in here with “Step” in the title) 6) Harlequin Presents option #3: "The Not-Very-Good Playboy’s Mediocre Score" 5) How about something in a suspense category? “The SEAL’s Quiet Vacation Where No One Abducts Anyone and No Guns are Fired” (Yippee, no flashbacks!) 4) Inspirational? “The Amish Widow’s Secret Cell Phone” (Gosh, don’t tell Obidiah!) 3) Historical: “A Butler of Her Own” (Ah, girls, we can only hope!) 2) Historical #2: “The Reluctant Prostitute” (She wasn’t super successful) 1) Erotica: “Befuddled” (It’s always a 1 word title, often a verb that can be liberally misinterpreted. Or a random phrase like “Contort With Me”) *Disclaimer: My sincere apologies if any of these items, by some karmic freak of the universe, are really book titles. I had no idea. Writer, heal thyself!9/8/2015 As a newcomer to writing and publishing, there have been the typical highs and lows that authors often experience. No amount of pep talks, trolling newbie author boards, or self-affirmations helps those periods of doubt. You know the times: queries sent into the great black void, the release of the first book to…cheers? crickets?, the awesome reviews, and the reviews where no feelings are spared. For every fist-pump milestone, there were corresponding fears and doubts. Too many highs and lows. Too much doubt. So how could I fix this problem?
A side note: As a physician, this job is heavily invested in fixing things. Solving problems is what I do in my day job, and I’m pretty good at it. I also give lots of advice to go along with the fixing of patients’ problems. However, this writer/doctor is great at dishing out advice…but not so great at taking it. But enough already. Enough with second-guessing and fear of rejection. Enough! I’m no expert on writing and publishing, but I’m can sure give out medical advice. Perhaps this doctor could help herself? Time to take some of my own medicine – writing style! #1) Breathe. Confession time. I deliver babies, so I often tell women to breathe. (Sometimes also husbands.) At 9 centimeters dilated, women might ignore this advice and hurl objects, hurl obscenities, or simply hurl. But for the mothers-to-be who take this simple advice to heart and try to take slow, deep breaths, their anxiety and pain improves, the pelvis relaxes, and that baby descends through the pelvis faster. (By the way, if you tell a fully dilated woman she has “discomfort”, it is likely that she will demonstrate in an easy-to-undestand manner the difference between “discomfort” and “pain”.) What does Friday feel like?9/4/2015 Before I launch into a new list, let me explain why this post. I haven’t had real Fridays in over ten years. That’s when I started practicing medicine, delivering babies, admitting patients, and so on. The work model meant that if my patients needed me, I would come in for them. That model is great. But I’ve skirted burnout (ok, totally burnt to a crisp 5 years ago, no question) the entire time, which isn’t conducive to career longevity, to say nothing of happiness. I haven't said "TGIF" for over ten years. Now that's just plain wrong.
With some trepidation, I joined a medical group where my duties are the same as before. Only now, when I’m on call, I manage everything – all group deliveries, admissions, nursing home calls and the like. So, insanely busy but also super fulfilling. But when I’m off? Not on call but still working in the office? Going home after work? Off? What’s that??? Please walk with me through my first "normal joe" Friday in a long time. It was a Friday where I finished up in the office, went home, and turned off the phone. Wow. I can't stop smiling. #10) There is a sensation in my chest, almost like I’ve held my breath for too long and finally can breathe again. Instead of cringing if my phone rings, I know it’s something not-work, like a friend, or my parents, or hubby. #9) I made plans to do nothing on Saturday. And best of all, I’ll be able to keep those plans. #8) I made plans to do something on Sunday. And best of all, I’ll be able to keep those plans. #7) Hubby and I are going to go out to eat tomorrow evening. At a restaurant. And I’m not tense. In fact, I might leave the phone at home, and believe doing so will improve the experience. #1) Is the main character based on you?
#2) Is the hero/villain/spunky sidekick based on someone you know? #2.5) Not mentioned but you know they wanna ask: Is that scene how you have sex? (OMFG, do I WISH I were that flexible...and orgasmically refractory for eight hours at a stretch. As it stands, if I attempted 10% of one my sex scenes, I'd need a total hip replacement and rods placed into my back.) #3) Do you have some kind of mental problem or need counseling? Because I read that book and there's a lot of violence and evil stuff and um.... #4) Why can't you write more books per month/year/decade? (You're right, I'm lazy. It's the only plausible explanation.) #5) From my Mom (who by the way, does NOT know that I write dark paranormal, athletically- and unrealistically-sexy romance novels): Why don't you write one of those romance novels? You'd be good at it. (um....) #6) Will you put me in your next book? (Thanks, hubby. No.) #7) Can I have copies to give to my friends/family/coworkers? #8) Are the guys on the cover real? (Please, baby Jesus, please make those cover guys be real and let them come over to visit.) #9) Why don't you write something like that Twilight stuff? Seems like it was really popular. (Someone already sold their soul to Satan and did this already....) #10) Why can't this book be sexier? Why can't this book be cleaner? (Please confer first and THEN pick 1 complaint.) More crazy things patients say8/2/2015 No preamble. Here goes.
#10) "Doc, I've had a 99 temp since this morning and have a runny nose. I need antibiotics so I can go shopping/water skiing/off-roading this weekend." (These are the same folks that check the "not satisfied" box on the patient survey when I recommend NO antibiotics based on radical concepts like "medical evidence" and "exam findings".) #9) "Why can't Dr. Jill see me? I'm only an hour late. She knows I can't wake up before 10am." (Look, when you made this appointment 1 month ago, there were numerous options for appointment times, including late afternoon. My apologies for not hanging out at the front desk and intervening on behalf of your delicate biorhythms, but administration wants me to actually SEE PATIENTS during business hours.) #8) "Diet and exercise doesn't work for me. I have a glandular problem. Even though my thyroid levels are 100% normal, I still must have thyroid medication to make me lose weight." (The reason your weight doesn't go down has to do with the 1 liter Mtn. Dew you're sipping and with the fact you consider daily exercise to be walking from your car to the office. A thyroid pill will give you an arrhythmia and osteoporosis. "Not satisfied" box checked yet again. I will be fired by next week.) Moving again: What I learned7/29/2015 Just completed a cross-country move 1500 miles from one end of the Earth to a new rural practice/group at the other end of the Earth. At least I'm consistent -- I do enjoy rural medicine. And a new adventure is always fun.
But phew, I'm pooped. It's not my first rodeo with the whole moving thing, but every time there's a big life change, there must be lessons, right? Here goes.... #10) 2 drivers + 2 cars is much harder than 2 drivers + 1 car. Especially traveling through major metro areas together. Note to self: automatically add 20% drive time when it's 2 cars. #9) One cannot sustain road rage for 1500 miles. Not without precipitating an aneurysm. #8) Kitties + traveling = tranquilizer. And not for the animals. #7) There really ARE millions of different combinations of Subway sandwiches! #6) 2 Subway sandwiches/day x 4 days = unique GI consequences. #5) Driving 10 hours/day does not feel the same now as it it did when I was 20 and invincible. Now I say things like "dadgum sciatica" and "I have to pee AGAIN?" and "my dyspepsia is firing up again" (see item 6). Yeah, fabulous. |
Jillian DavidAuthor, daydreamer, and practitioner of trying very hard to duct tape folks together and help when I can. Archives
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